Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Direct My Heart

Tiffany and I do not have kids yet. We fully enjoy each other's company without distraction (other than our well behaved sometimes love and food hungry Miniture Pincher). We decided for the first couple of years of our marriage that we need to get to know each other and deepen our relationship before we bring little ones into the world. As we are nearing the end of the first couple of years of our marriage, I have begin to consider what the next season of life may bring.

I have read horror stories about how wives would have a baby and almost forget that they still have a husband (and how the husband isn't very involved at the same time). It caused me to ask some probing questions. What will my life be like if my wife becomes a mommy as well as my wife. What do I do during this season.

We as men naturally like to think about ourselves. It is times like these that I am most thankful to have the Holy Spirit to counsel me when I feel like I am about to go through a selfish moment. His subtle influence on my thoughts were "You love her, son. You direct your heart to lay down your life for her and for the little one." I understood. Husbands and fathers set themselves up for great disappointment and failure when they think the natural thought "but what about me?" during this amazing part of family life.

Gosh I guess I still have a lot to learn but here is what I am doing about it now. I hope to write about this later to tell you my experience. Many of you have heard about "The Love Dare". It was an idea taken from the movie "Fireproof".  The idea is a 40 day plan designed to love your spouse on purpose. You do something different everyday that pursues your spouse. I know that some of you may be saying, "I have a great marriage and don't need to do the love dare". I think if more people decided to love their spouse on purpose in the good years, they wouldn't have to fight so hard to get it back during some of the more difficult years.

After doing this for 9 days so far, I am excited about the results in me more than I am about how Tiffany is responding to it. Because I love my wife, most of the things I have done in the last 9 days are things that I do anyways and sometime spontaneously just because I love her. It was different doing it on purpose, because I have figured out that if I simply love her based on the flow of life, these things will eventually fade away. However if I can learn to be intentional about love, I can continue to grow "In Love" with my wife without fear of falling out of love.

I guess this is practice for me. I want to lead my heart to love my wife and make that my normal practice even when I have nothing coming back to me. I have vowed to my wife that I will love her as Christ loves the church. I have a lot of catchup to do since he has already layed down His life for his bride and has often received rejection in spite of it. Isn't that what Jesus said true love is? That a man should lay down his life for his friend?

Happy Valentines Day!

P.S. I am able to write this blog because my wife forgets that I have a blog. Lol.

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